Archive for category Uncategorized
Im disguisting as fuck. I hate myself. Don’t be like me. I suck
I have m first real girl crush. She’s in my elective class. She looks like Kreayshawns lil sister omg Her lips are so kissable looking! …..wow
I looked so bad too when I talked to her, with my fatness and it was friday and its usually my dgaf day so my clothes were jeans and a tshirt. NO MAKEUP. Im going back to school like one sexy beast though believe dat
Im watching Big Rich Texas and Leslie wants kailyn to get lippo or something to dissolve her at. I just saw all of her confidence fade. Everyone in the room saw all her little imperfections. I felt so sad for her! Her self esteem was totally ruined.
So Im failing geometry. I’ve been failing math most of my life though. My dad got really upset and I realized that it’s my fault. Not just this grade but, everything. Misunderstanding small things cause Im stupid. Going to classes after school when I know he’s waiting. Like he said I need to know my place and be where I should be. He gets tired and works a lot and Im a huge dissapointment. So sometimes he forgets to pick me up or is late or gets annoyed with me and Im never understanding about.
Today he told me that I’ll never be some one and I’ll end up as a cashier. He told me to not complain about how hard it is cause its not hard. So I didn’t say it was hard I just said yes sir and mhm and yes. Whats sad is Im not going through anything. Im not distracted. Im just dumb. Luckily he waited until we were in the hall(school hallway cause went to the school and talked to my teacher) to reprimand me. It was no school today so there weren’t that many kids. He wasn’t as lound and physical this time.
And what also sucks is that he thinks Im failing cause Im cocky and I think I don’t need to try but most times I know I’ll fail a test or quiz. Even when I think I can do it…I don’t. Im just natrually a failure. I want to go to college and get away from my family and give them a break from me but, my dad said i’ll never make it to college cause of this F and a t first I thought he was exxagerating but maybe he’s right. If I drop a class level it’ll be harder to get a scholarship and oppurtunities. My parents can’t pay for that. You’d think I would fix the problem immediatley right? I come home write songs and then half ass homework cause Im so sleepy and tired afterschool. Theres a reason I have 1 real friend and even he thinks im retarded. Theres a reason my dads always been strict and hostile with me. Theres a reason I focus on fashion and weight and make up and hair. I focus on beauty cause I sur as hell don’t have half the brains I should.
I don’t even know why I posted this cause theres no thinspo theres nothing cute or funny so no one will probably read past the first paragraph. if that! but I had to get it out someway. I don’t know why.
Well, Im so bored so Im gonna talk about stuff! I lost a pound idk how but yea. Im watching America’s Next Top Model. Im really thirsty too. Iplan to stay up late and do homework and do a little hailmary so I dn’t fail any of my classes. Right now im listening to Justin Bieber and looking at his twitter. Its his 5 year anniversery of his youtube channel 🙂
Anywaaay enough with the jb shrine…..
I’d put all I ate at the end of the day but I know I won’t feel like it so I’ll do it as I eat.
So this girl is only a little bit more than I weigh and thats my goal weight. But I did get to my LW 135 so I went from 145 to 135 yay Im thankful for any loss
One thing Im sacared of is losing my d cup tits 😦
but btw I carry weight differently than her I never looked that big. but I lover thighs in the after.
I ate an apple:60 cals
5 california rolls:150