Im such a peice of shit

So Im failing geometry. I’ve been failing math most of my life though. My dad got really upset and I realized that it’s my fault. Not just this grade but, everything. Misunderstanding small things cause Im stupid. Going to classes after school when I know he’s waiting. Like he said I need to know my place and be where I should be. He gets tired and works a lot and Im a huge dissapointment. So sometimes he forgets to pick me up or is late or gets annoyed with me and Im never understanding about.

 Today he told me that I’ll never be some one and I’ll end up as a cashier. He told me to not complain about how hard it is cause its not hard. So I didn’t say it was hard I just said yes sir and mhm and yes. Whats sad is Im not going through anything. Im not distracted. Im just dumb. Luckily he waited until we were in the hall(school hallway cause went to the school and talked to my teacher) to reprimand me. It was no school today so there weren’t that many kids. He wasn’t as lound and physical this time.

  And what also sucks is that he thinks Im failing cause Im cocky and I think I don’t need to try but most times I know I’ll fail a test or quiz. Even when I think I can do it…I don’t. Im just natrually a failure. I want to go to college and get away from my family and give them a break from me but, my dad said i’ll never make it to college cause of this F and a t first I thought he was exxagerating but maybe he’s right. If I drop a class level it’ll be harder to get a scholarship and oppurtunities. My parents can’t pay for that. You’d think I would fix the problem immediatley right? I come home write songs and then half ass homework cause Im so sleepy and tired afterschool. Theres a reason I have 1 real friend and even he thinks im retarded. Theres a reason my dads always been strict and hostile with me. Theres a reason I focus on fashion and weight and make up and hair. I focus on beauty cause I sur as hell don’t have half the brains I should.

I don’t even know why I posted this cause theres no thinspo theres nothing cute or funny so no one will probably read past the first paragraph. if that! but I had to get it out someway. I don’t know why.

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